Choices

So I had a very busy morning today, was rushing to work today with a million things on my mind. Caught up with G while I was having my hands full with other things

G: No Good morning or Hi from you today, only 'Where are you?' up straight ! Are you doing alright?
Me: No that was yesterday's message, you read it today. I dint send any today. Quite busy since morning. How was your dinner? It's still night right?
G: Yes, was good. We had a great time.....(the rest of what he said drowned in my thoughts of what needs to be done)
Me: I am sorry, not able to focus on what you just said, will have to call you from the car. Talk to you soon.

Some mornings are crazy busy, but others just refuse to turn into noon! I like talking on the go, since I get time to collect my thoughts and there are no interruptions.

Me: Hey, sorry to cut you off before. So how was your dinner?
G: No problem! It went great actually, one of my colleague was talking about how she met her husband through bar hopping. It was a good story. She asked how we met and I told her that your sister married my cousin and that how she knows me and got me to meet you.
Me: I am sure they find the concept of arranged marriage a little strange.
G: Well yes, I was explaining them that arranged marriages earlier had begun because there was a system of joint family and marriage was for two families to join together. Now this has changed quite a lot. Also in India children continue to live with their parents, so parents are involved throughout their lives.
Me: I guess that concept is a little alien to them, knowing that they like to live quite independent and even their children move out quite early
G: My other colleague who is an Indian as well, was saying that even if we din't want to be with our parents or take care of them, there is a lot of societal pressure to do it. For which I said yes there is but its a two way process right, the same society also pressurises the parents to look after the children and a lot of people continue to depend upon their parents financially and emotionally almost all their lives. So we went on talking about choices.
Me: Arranged Marriages are different these days though, Its like a combination of a platform of meeting new people through trusted sources. What about choices?
G: I feel and thats completely my opinion that choices are overrated
Me: Overrated? What do you mean by that? Choice is not important?
G: Of course NOT! I feel that freedom to choose is very important. But can we in real terms always choose what to do? And if we did have that freedom to choose things we decide to do, is it always right? I think thinking and analysing are more important than choice in a society.
Me: I din't get you, can you give me some example?
G: Hmm.. See if someone is treating someone badly or there is injustice happening, choice to stop it and do something to correct it is vital. Whereas if I say that its my choice to hurt someone or do as I please in a relationship, its not right. Sometimes we don't have any choice even if we think we do, like we can't say that I want to work in the office at 3-5 am and I won't work the rest of the day. We can't! That's why I say choice is overrated, It is absolutely necessary at times whereas some places dangerous and useless at times.
Me: Thats an interesting take *thinking of Deepika Padukone's video*. Well I have reached my destination so I would have to call up later
G: Okay! take care, talk to you later.

Rambling

DAY 1

I have a very interesting but socially inactive husband.  I enjoy having long discussions with him on varied topics. He always comes up with very intriguing and different perspective on life, movies and just about anything under the sun.

This brings me to this blog which I felt will be quite an enjoyable journey of recording our conversations and giving me some food for thought to reflect upon.

Just to introduce us a little, I am a designer and he is an software engineer (for layman purposes). Even though our professions are vastly different, we contribute to each others area quite well. Currently he has made US his nest for his current project so we have to rely on social platforms to communicate for a while.

I always say that he has a designers mind and if chosen this profession he would have done quite well for himself (not that he in'st doing that currently). If I get stuck on my thought process or illustrations, he would be the one to rescue. He would spot the problem in an instant and is almost always right.

Recently we had a conversation on the move which I saw with family 'Dear Zindagi', which was a refreshing movie. I was narrating him the story over a very interrupted call through Skype. I felt that all the things that G usually said formed the crux of the movie. His life tips are very similar to JUG in the movie.

Kaira(Koko) in the movie is unable to communicate her feelings to others, she feels that people who are around her should know what she is going through, also because of her childhood issue she fears being emotionally invested at the risk of being hurt. Enter Jug who hows her how to cope up with her feelings and talk about it. Being completely honest about what she feels to her partner and not be a silent sufferer.

Me: Hey you know they made movie out of all your life principles, we went and saw it.
G: See I told you, we should not repress our feelings, we need to let it out.
Me: There is a scene where Koko is with this musician guy who likes to sing all the time and she gets very irritated. You think that she should tell him that at the risk of being dumped? Or grin and bear it?
G: But how long will she grin and bear it? It wont last long that way. Its always better to say what you feel
Me: That's what Jug said, why be a silent sufferer. Tell that you don't like to hear music all the time. But what if the guy gets hurt, he is a musician after all.
G: Well she doesn't like music all the time, so its good to put it across, you should be honest about your feelings but not rude and indifferent to others.
Me: Its not easy for everyone to communicate their feelings so easily. Also in another scene she mentions having yet to meet a perfect person for a relationship
G: Well all relationships are special, why do we think one is less special than the other. Love in any relationship is the same, weather it is between a couple, Parent and child or Sibling, friend. What makes one love more special than the other?
Me: Yes that's true. But we always consider romantic kind to be a special love, don't we?
G: We are conditioned to believe that way. Love does not have shades, it is the feeling of oneness with the person. That could be with your inner circle of people.This movie that you are narrating is similar to English Vinglish. That was also about dealing with simple emotions.
Me: It is from the same director! Well they did talk about inner circle in the movie, that each of us have that special five people in our lives.
G: Really! I din't know that. I got the pulse of the movie right then. Wow that's quite similar to what I say then. I need to see that movie when I get back.
Me: Sure we will. Well I am getting sleepy now
G: Sure you take rest, will speak soon. bye!
Me: Bye!

That's all for now, will attempt to keep up with this!