Verdah & After

Finally the internet is back on track. I get in touch with the outside world like a hungry child devouring a chocolate. So cyclone Verdah came and was knocking persistently against all our doors. Chennai had just regained itself from the terrible nightmare and again fell head on with another one. This I feel is how usually life is, you tend to think that all is well and suddenly everything falls like a pack of dominos. I have witnessed two cyclones since I settled in Chennai, one as soon as I was married and the second just recently. Both were very scary and caused a lot of damage and in both G was abroad.

2011 - Chennai

G: I heard that there is a cyclone coming your way, its better you stay indoors. It can become quite terrible. There is also a news of a tornado hitting us here in US

Me: That’s terrible, please be safe and stock yourself. I hope this passes way soon. I have never witnessed a cyclone before.

G: I have in Vishakhapatnam and it is quite scary actually. In north of course you won’t have one.

Me: I have work though, they haven’t declared a holiday yet. My work place will be the last to give a holiday!

G: Well even if they don’t, I would advise you take off that day.

The cyclone was terrible that day, I had never seen so much destruction so quickly. There were trees fallen everywhere and cars and houses broken. It was a blessing that the coconut tree outside our house was standing firmly.

G had the tornado hitting them and he was stuck inside his hotel room with no power supply. We on the other hand had no electricity and water. I had to request a shop nearby to allow me to charge my phone. It was the first time I felt helpless, we had to wait for the city to regain itself. It was summer time then and with the radio updating us with the current news. That day I realized that daily necessities that we take for granted are very vital.

G: Do you know that mostly tornados have female names

Me: Really? Why, they cause so much destruction!

G: Precisely! LOL! I am just kidding. I am as inquisitive as you are. But it is true! The names work on a rotation basis though.

Me: Well I returned from the workplace early, you know there was a tsunami alert going on as well, so we had half day off to return home. If there actually did came a tsunami, my workplace would be the first to disappear its on the beach coast! So I was returning home and I notices lots of people queuing up on the beach

G: I thought City was in alert for tsunami? 

Me: Wouldn't you think that people will have more sense to stay indoors, but no they wanted to see tsunami up close! Really I tell you people are crazy! They had to call the police to vacate the beach.

2016 – Chennai

After the demonetization and the demise of the Iron lady, the city already was trying to cope up with everything when the cyclone acted as an uninvited guest who destroyed what was left. We were cooped in the house while it rattled outside, the tiles of our Kerala style roof was breaking the windows of our neighbors. It was chaotic and the few hours that it lasted, felt like hours. The morning after, we were greeted with no electricity, fallen trees, roof and a lot of devastation. It overwhelmed me to see the city again face its wrath against nature but then it picked up its pieces and celebrated ‘Karthigai’(South Indian festival) with lights and crackers. That is to show that even in the darkness we can find light, if we know where to look.

G: how is everything now? I have been trying to contact you for a while now, thank god for the landline. I am able to communicate

Me: Are you sure, you don’t get premonitions about natural disasters?

G: Why do you ask?

Me: Well you escaped the last cyclone and this one too! So was wondering…..

 G:*Laughing* Unfortunately I have no such powers.

Me: Well we are getting no network, the generator is running so thank god for that, I went to the vegetable market and thanks to the current money issue, there is no ATM which is working and we can’t swipe cards, only cash. The vendor was kind enough to say that I could pay him later but thankfully I had enough for the day. It’s is a terrible time for this cyclone.

G: That’s awful, so when did they say that the electricity will be back

Me: It will take round a week and also the telephone networks and internet is gone. But thankfully we did not face any damage!

G: Well don’t worry before you know it, everything will be working again.

3 days later …..

G: So how is the situation now?

Me*angrily*: I am aware of every passing minute and it’s still the same! No power, no internet and no network.

There is a lot to learn from situations like this, there is always hope and we can turn things around. Soon people will forget about this and move on, this is how life works. We have new things entering our lives and the old ones becomes memories, some stay with us and others we let go.

Honeymoon Travels

Mine was an arranged marriage, in India we have two kinds of wedding. One an arranged and other 'love' marriage. The former is quite common and mostly preferred in majority of the households, here the parents chose a groom/bride for their child and arrange for them to meet each other and decide if they want to tie the knot.

I had been brought up in an open minded family, my father had never pressurized us into anything, be it career or marriage. It was always open for discussions and only when we were convinced, was the next step taken.

My G was introduced to me by my sister and her husband, her husband and G were first cousins.Coming back to this post, we had a long courtship period of around nine months and I got to know him through our frequent conversations. I believe that staying with a person and knowing them through conversations are two different things, sometimes you might consider someone your best friend but they not necessarily make best roommates.

There are little things that you learn when you are together, example I like to watch my TV shows along with junk food or that I bite my nails when I am nervous.These are things that you learn when you stay together, not through conversations. We went to Bali and Singapore for our honeymoon. Both places were wonderful, one rustic and adventurous and the other fast paced urban, great for shopping. We had certain interesting incidents throughout our trip which helped us know each other better.

Singapore 2011

We reached Singapore to this beautiful Hotel, in the heart of the city. It was a wonderful location and we instantly signed up for tourists tours for the next two days. The first one was a site seeing of Singapore and its major attractions, it was while returning back to the hotel I noticed a local eat street. Now I thought that the street is so close to our hotel, so we should try out the local cuisine. I am a big sucker for street food and that looked appetizing.

Me: I noticed a street food corner, I want to try that out for dinner. What do you think?
G *peeping out the window* : Where? I can't see anything. Did it pass-by? We can try whatever you want. But did you make note for any sign or billboard? How will we find our way?
Me: Yes I remember where I saw it,its not far from the hotel we are staying in
G: Okay, we can do that. You like local food then?
Me: Oh yes! *telling him about the various places I have traveled with friends and family and the cuisines I have tried*

Later that evening...

G: Let's leave for dinner to the eat street that you saw. You sure you know the way?
Me:*confidently* Yes of course!
G: Okay I will arrange a cab from the lobby and then we can leave
Me: No no, the real fun of seeing a place is walking it. It's not too far, we can make it by foot.
G: Really? Strange I missed to see that on the way
Me: Yes its pretty close. I am used to exploring places on foot *telling him other incidents of site seeing*
G: Alright then, I am game, let's go!

So we set out on foot. It was fine initially , we were talking and noticing amusing things on the way. Then I began to think that maybe the place wasn't so near as I estimated.

G: We haven't crossed it yet? I hope we din't miss seeing it while we were busy chit chatting
Me: hmm No we haven't. Should we ask someone, how far it is?

We began asking people around, only to find out that people looked clueless to our question. We did not know the street or the name of the place. Few of them pointed to vague things. Now after building it up so much in front of G, I was having self doubt
Me: *thinking* 'Where is this god forsaken place!' It has suddenly disappeared*
G: Did you say something?
Me: Umm No *Where my thoughts so loud?*
G: We have been walking for around 40 mins now, can you think of any landmarks near by?
Me: *definitely unsure now* There was this huge building next to it..... *vaguely*
G: uh.. *looks up and scans all the huge buildings around us* that's not too accurate.
Me: You know what! let's forget it! I am hungry, I am sorry for this wild goose chase. I am not sure where the freaking place is! Lets just eat and go back to the hotel *Frustrated*

Now this is when I first knew this of G, if you mention to him once that you want a certain thing be it food or product or a visit, if it is possible for him, he would go to any lengths to get it done. This is an absolutely delightful thing if you are serious about the things you want but can be frustrating if the thing you mentioned was something casual because you are in a mood to forget it and move on.

G: No don't say that! We will find out where it is, hang on. You said it was when we returned back so it should be on the opposite side and there were no turns when we were coming. I think we should be near it, Let's walk a little more. If we don't spot it then we can always..
Me: Eat somewhere else? go back and order room service *ending that sentence hopefully*
G: we can always take a cab and come back the same route we came in the morning. We will surely find it.
Me: No lets just go back please, I am tired now
G: You said you wanted to eat there, let me try at least of finding this place for you, please just bear a little.
Me: *dragging myself* Alright! Let's do this!

We did manage to find the street and all of our exploring, did not go in vain. We enjoyed the food and ate to our heart's content.

G: *mischievously* So do you want to walk back like a tourist and explore things on the way?
Me: *feeling my aching feet* No way!!! We get a cab or I stay here!

G has evolved and I can take a pat on my back for helping him to let go of things, not all things are worth hanging on too or fighting for. We need to let things be at times and move on.

Bali, Indonesia 2011

On the flight from Singapore to Bali...
Me: *holding out a tourist brochure I had picked up* Lets try this Shark tour. It's quite interesting, they put you in a cage and lower the cage into the water where the sharks are and you can feed the sharks!
G: That sounds very frighting, I am not sure if it will be very safe.
Me: No I think it will be fine, they won't have this if it wasn't safe, lets try it please.
G: Alright we can think about it.

We were staying in this spectacular resort that had its own beach, they had a lot of water sports. I had always wanted to try scuba diving or snorkeling. They had it in their beach and we signed up for it.

A person was assigned to take us to the middle of the sea and help us with scuba diving.

Me: Aren't they supposed to give you training or ask you questions if you know swimming etc? I mean we did tell them that I am not a swimmer.
G: Let's see what they do, maybe they have a system. I guess they have been doing this sort of thing a lot many times

The person who was taking us, was in his late 50's, a short, medium built man. I first thought that he would be only driving the motor boat which in itself was quite big. We were waiting for some other person to join us.

G: *shouting to this boat driver* Hey is someone else going to join us, or is it only you?
Man *cluelessly smiling and nodding*
Me: I am not sure he speaks or understands English.

We got into this motor boat, which was a large one. There was a window on the bottom of the boat, so you could see fishes swimming  and see the water below. We were right, this old man was the only one assigned to us. He was silent most of the journey. I was having my doubts about going through with this scuba diving!

G: Should I ask him, if I could give this boat a whirl. I would like to try driving it!
Me: I don't think he is going to allow that. I mean isn't there some sort of a training you are supposed to take.
G: Seems alright, I saw him handling it. I do want to give it a shot.

Well G loves to drive any vehicle he can lay his hands on from bike to a bus! I of course at the time thought that there is no way that guy is going to allow G to have his boat. To my surprise he just gave the handle and the system to G and he was merrily standing in a corner enjoying the sea, while G was driving us. This went on for a while before I noticed that the guy was in no mood to drive again or bother how a strange tourist is handling his vehicle. I panicked and asked G to give the boat back to the guy, what if something went wrong!

We reach in the middle of the sea, when abruptly the driver stopped. Me and G looked down from the window and saw green waters with fish swimming around

Man:*waving his hands violently gesturing us to jump*
Me:*shocked* Does he want us to jump in the middle of the sea with no equipment or costume!!
G: looks like it, I cant see any equipment on board. I will try asking *gesturing about equipment and costumes*
Me: There is no way I am jumping in. This is suicidal! He won't even understand if we call for help! he is just going to grin and nod while we die!!!
G*laughing* Yes I think it's better we don't try.

That was a wise choice, we just asked him to take us around a bit more before returning safely to the shore.

G: What do you think about the shark tour now
Me: Well we would become the bait for sure! Let's just enjoy a quiet day by the sea!

There are many more stories that happened during our trip, this post isn't enough to retell all of them. All I can say is that we got to know each other better and constantly learn from the other. I think it is with all our friends and family, we enjoy their weirdness and somewhere down the line, we take their mannerisms and they imbibe ours!

Floods Part 3

Me and G were chatting with the auto guy, he was telling us his story about being stuck in the auto and not getting food anywhere around. As we moved, we saw the destruction that the floods had caused. People were lined up to get milk, which otherwise only ₹15 was now ₹100 for a packet. Same with water and other food items.

The roads were mostly dry to our surprise until we reached near our area. There was this very small lane which we took to avoid the water logging in front of us, the lane was covered in water and our auto maneuvered those pretty well. We reached the main road which lead to our house.

Again I saw water hip deep, there was no way the auto would go through with that. The driver left us in the beginning  of the road

G: We will have to walk the rest. The hotel is around 1-2 Km from here, are you okay to walk?
Me: That's alright! But there is so much water, we will be around hip deep in water. What if there is an open drain and we fall in.
G: Well see those bikes going through, that is the path we take. You come behind me, where I step in you step the same path.
Me: okay but be very careful *fearfully*

We waded through the water slowly. There were few vehicles which were also going through and each time they went by, we got drenched. I was scared, of the water and of all the destruction caused. How will the city regain itself again. Just few days back I drove in these streets not knowing what was to come.

We reached the hotel, the lobby was fully drenched and there was no electricity like the entire city. Their back up generator was also almost giving up, tirelessly working for two days. We reached the hotel room and were very glad to see our family safe! It was a great reunion, we exchanged stories and found that they had been having cakes for breakfast and saving up their lunch. This area was worse than the area where we had come from. I suggested that we all go back to ITC and then decide where to go from there. Chennai was not livable currently. Family had managed to pack us a bag of fresh clothes before vacating our house.

G had to convince an auto driver about the route we came from and assured him that it is free of water logging. Only then he agreed to drive us back. On the way, I produced an extra key to the hotel room which I had procured from the reception the night of the floods. I was looking forward to seeing my father and having everyone under the same roof finally. I was not able to communicate with him this entire while because there was no signal.

When we reached the hotel, we headed straight to our room, I rang the bell couple of times but there was no answer. I presumed that maybe Dad was in the bathroom or we missed him in the lobby. I opened the door with my spare keys.

Me: There is something odd here, G are you listening....

G was busy chatting in the background and showing the enormous room to the family, without noticing that my father's luggage and his laptop both were missing.

Me: Pappa is not here, he has left! That cannot be possible, he told me he will be here! What happened? *panicking*
G: *finally looking around and sensing what I just said* Call him up from the landline, see if you can connect.
Me: I am not able to get through, his phone is not reachable. Wait let me call my sister in Delhi, she will surely know!

After speaking to my sister I learned that I was trespassing someone's else's room since my father had checked out. He had tried contacting me several times and had then informed the hotel lobby to pass on the message, that his office people had come to the hotel and there were few international delegates who had a flight to catch from Bangalore, so the car had to leave urgently and they had space for one person. He did not  know what we had planned and presumed that water logging would have been better in my area.

My sister suggested us doing the same, get our car and leave to Bangalore since the road is open for a few hours. We needed to be quick and leave Chennai. We rushed to the lobby and called our car from valet only to find out that water was still there inside the car. The car, my loyal Volkswagen was strong and still running. We sat down with the water still inside and went on road not knowing if we will reach our destination.

On the way we stopped by and picked up water and something to eat. En route we stopped to remove water from our car with a mop we managed to get from a local store.

With only a bag full of clothes and nothing else we left Chennai, not knowing when we will be back and how our house is withstanding the fall. Thanks to my efficient sister and my uncle we managed to book tickets in train to Bangalore and from there to Delhi, since airlines had raised their fare to ₹75000 for each ticket in this distressed hour. Only when we reached Bangalore, I felt that the nightmare was over.

It is difficult to think that adversity will effect us, we read in the newspaper or on news feed of such things and never believe that it can actually happen to us as well. It made me think about the question we usually ask people 'If your house is on fire, what are the things that you will take and leave behind?' I believe that comfortably sitting in our houses and answering that question does not do justice to the gravity of the actual situation. We take nothing, we only yearn to be with our loved ones and wish their safety above anything else.

Floods Part 2

Since today in particular was a chaotic day in Chennai, the news channels were covering the current CM of Chennai, the Iron lady is fighting her battle. I had stepped out to buy groceries and experienced the same commotion a year ago, people were distressed and there were long queue for basic provisions. The same was happening now, you could feel the gravity of the situation in the air.

So I am going to complete my post on the floods, since a lot had happened that time and it needs to be told..

3rd December 2015 - Chennai, India

G: so we crossed the flyover successfully, what do you suppose we should do now? Should we carry on to the hotel that our family shifted to or go back to the hotel where we came from?
Me: Go back! there is no way I want to go through that water again, we were lucky the car din't stop, what if does this time? We can go further to the hotel family is in...
G: But there is this place on the way which I feel might be submersed in water, we have to cross that, what if its worse than where we came from?
Me: There is no phone connection, I can't get through to anyone to ask. We can check into any hotel nearby then?
G: They all have closed the gate! Many people must be doing that. I think we should turn back to ITC
Me: But water again? will our car survive?
G: No returning wouldn't be a problem, there was no water on the other side I noticed.
Me: Okay then, lets go back!

After a long time and being redirected again, we reached the hotel. The gates were about to close when we tried to enter. Thankfully dad had a room there so we were put through. Both of us completely drenched and no spare clothes. We rushed straight to the room, dad couldn't get another room for us since the hotel was booked completely. We had to share a room. All the news channels had picked up on the floods and were blaring all the live footage as we entered.

Me: I am so glad that I am in a dry room and not on road anymore!
Dad: I have ordered food and extra bathrobes. You guys can freshen up and have dinner. I got stuck in traffic as well, but made it just in time. Look they are showing the bridge that I was on before. It just collapsed!
Me: OMG! Thank god you made it safe!
G: Thanks! It is terrible outside, I am happy we reached safe! The reception informed us of a clothes boutique downstairs which will open tomorrow, so we can get more clothes then.

4th December 2015 - Chennai, India

The thing about my father is, he has always been busy and seldom takes a break. During weekends he would take us out for shopping or any event which was happening in Delhi at the time. It is difficult for him to sit idle whereas me and G excel in that. We have done a Major in sitting idle and whiling away time. So this was particularly difficult for him on many levels.

Now there was a window in our hotel room which overlooked an apartment. We could from there spot a car parked in the driveway. Later this car acted as a water measuring device for us. The level of water had reached till the car doors in the morning.

Dad:The news says that its really bad outside, its still raining and most of Chennai is in water. They had been pumping water from this hotel the whole night. I spoke to the guy who got us coffee. He said that the staff did not sleep the entire night. The gates of the hotel is closed tight.
Me: That's horrible! When do you think things can get normalized then?
Dad: We can't say, my flight is booked for tomorrow but the airport is shut. I don't know when it will open. I have important meetings lined up
Me: *little angrily* I think that can wait. You are in a middle of a natural disaster!
G: I just checked on family, they are doing fine but the hotel they are staying in, cannot provide them which breakfast because they want to save their supplies. So they got cakes from a nearby store for now.
Me: What! that's ridiculous, shouldn't the hotel provide you breakfast!!
G: Yes but this is not a normal situation is it! I think they want to make their supplies last a while. At least they are proving lunch and dinner.
Me: That's true! Since we are stuck here, lets check out the situation downstairs

We found out from the hotel staff that there had been an overbooking of people, the people who had checked out came back since the airports were closed. The hotel was kind enough to accommodate who came for shelter. They arranged for extra beds in their massive lobby. ITC Grand Chola is no less than a palace in itself. It felt like being in a movie set. Judging the current situation only 'Titanic' movie came to mind.

Rest of the day we were inquiring about the situation outside, our phones mostly did not have a reception and when it did it was only for a short while. They also cut the internet connection from the city. So when I saw the helpline numbers or help tweets on Television, it was like a cruel joke since the city was handicapped to do either.

 5th December 2015 - Chennai, India

The rain had stopped a little in the morning and gave us hope that things had got better. We check on the car outside the window and it was blinking for help. The water had made its way to the windows of the car, it was dancing up and down with the water. Dad was prowling like a tiger around the hotel room, I suggested him to go for a Spa to keep him occupied. He was contemplating taking a private helicopter to Bangalore since our hotel had an helipad. Meanwhile in Delhi, his office were trying their best to get him back.

G: I shudder to think about our cars parked inside our garage
Me: Do you think that the water would have come till that level? Is ours a low lying area?
G: Yes it is! But our house is a little elevated from the ground level, maybe the water won't enter the house. I feel that my car would be touching the garage roof by now *looking distressed*
Me: You shouldn't lose hope, look these are materialistic things, they will come and go. At least all of us are safe.
G: I know, you are right. You are all that matters!

As the day progressed we saw the hotel showed signs of going through the grave situations, the lights had been dimmed out. Also the breakfast now consisted only of the essentials like bread and eggs. They were also saving up their supplies. We were told that french fries were a luxury item on the menu. The server who doubled as our news reporter told us that the water was around 7 feet high outside and he came swimming to work.

We decided to venture out later that evening, since there was no communication with family stuck on the other side of the city. We could see helicopters and hear announcements for safety all around us. It was surreal experience, like when you think you living a nightmare.

Although to be fair, we were having the best out of the worst situation. We were stuck on a Luxury 'Seven Star' accommodation and were having good food and looked after very well by the overworked staff. Though we knew our family was safe on the other side, we wished that we were all together at a time like this.

In the evening the gates were open since the water had drained. We went out to a nearby shop, the place around us looked disheveled as if  it had returned after a long tired journey. There were broken down cars and lots of objects spewed around the roads. After making our purchase we headed back to the hotel.

G: I am not able to reach family since morning, maybe we should try heading back. I am worried if they got food to eat
Me: Yes I know, me too. How will we be of any help if we get stuck ourselves on the way? Now we know that they are safe and they know that we are. We will keep calling, I guess things will be better tomorrow. We can venture in the morning since it would be bright and we can call for help if needed.
G: You are right, Okay we will wait it out.

 6th December 2015 - Chennai, India

 The rain had stopped completely in the morning. The car outside our window was completely in the water, occasionally we could see the roof of the car bumping through the water. Dad was saying that few of his office employees were going to Bangalore through a car and they were judging the situation outside. I said that it might not be safe and we should wait for the roads to clear. He suggested that maybe we all could do the same and go to Bangalore once we get the green signal.

We had not managed to get in touch with family for an entire day, this was making us very worried.

G: I will step out and check the situation. We can venture out if the coast is clear.
Me: We will also come down, me and Dad an check if the road to Bangalore is open

So we all went down, there was still chaos but people were leaving as well. We inquired and found that the road to Bangalore was open for a while, they did not know how long though but the route was clear off water. While waiting for G to turn up, me and Dad sat down near the entrance

Me: If G thinks that the road is clear, then I will go with him and check on the family
Dad: You guys need to be very careful, the roads are bad and there may be water logging at places. I will try and find an alternative to move from Chennai. Are you planning to leave Chennai as well? We can think of arrangements. Maybe you could stay at our house in Bangalore for a while till this settles
Me: I don't know that now, will have to talk with G about it and how the family feels.
Dad: I think that the situation is better, see all the people are checking out.

G joins us informing that an Auto(a three wheeler vehicle) driver is ready to take us. He was very apprehensive, but talking to G about a certain route that we could take, he seemed to have agreed.

G: I will go, I don't know how safe it will be for you to come. You stay here with Dad. At least I will know that you are safe
Me: There is NO way I will let you go alone, I will go mad thinking weather you are safe!
G: You need to listen to me, you please stay here and be safe. I will contact you once I reach. I promise.
Me: No I won't. I will not let you go alone. I have to be with you even if it is dangerous. No matter what you say, I am coming *adamantly*

So we decided to leave for the other side of the city, before leaving however I spoke to Dad

Me: I won't be able to contact you, but please stay here. We will come back soon
Dad: I will, don't worry. I won't leave without telling you. Be safe both of you. If there is too much water logging come back. Try and inform me when you reach.

My father always keeps his words. There is no two way about that. He has a very strong personality and is a self made man. His planning and problem solving is always ten steps ahead. So what came next during the day surprised me....

To be continued as Floods Part 3

The Lunch Hour

All of us have different quirks which makes us unique, sometimes these are amusing to others or at times they are annoying. I for instance like to read a magazine always from the back or in a supermarket or bookstore, I won't pick up the first packet/book kept on the front but the second or third one. These nuances makes us who we are.

G has lot of those as well, I call him quite obsessive at times with his habits. In particular he has certain quirks regarding his food. Now, we both don't carry a lunchbox to our work place, me for reasons of a busy morning and G because primarily he doesn't want to trouble me and because he doesn't like carry one with him. I would also add that he is pretty forgetful with bringing back his lunchboxes, so unless I have a stock of disposable boxes sending a box is not an ideal solution.

So coming back to the lunch hour, that wonderful and yet very fast moving time at a workplace, we both have lunch at our canteen and food court respectively.

While travelling back together from our workplaces...

Day 1

Me: How was your day?
G: Was good, the usual. There is this new app that the client want us to make.....(the rest of it, is him explaining me in detail the entire app animatedly)
Me: That's interesting! well mine was a hectic day. Its close to submission time so lots of work pending. How was Lunch?
G: Not that great..
Me: Why wasn't the food good? What did you have?
G: Its not the food! Its just that I have group of work colleagues and we all eat together during lunch...
Me: I think I know where this is going

See G is particular about his Lunch plate, for starters, none of his food should touch with the other so if there are different bowls or compartments within the plate, it is an ideal deal for him. He also prefers to not have a very messy meal which will involve oozing out of wraps or subs. But the thing that irks him most is if someone sitting with him is having something messy with their hand like Rasam rice (South Indian food) or the likes and dips their hand to taste his food. That grosses him out, I cant blame him since I feel the same about it but maybe not as strongly.

Now sharing Lunches and tasting other's food around a table is very common in Chennai, it shows that they are comfortable with you and consider you a friend. It is odd for them if you think that it is gross.

G: So like I was saying, we all sit together and have lunch. I like having conversations with them, but this work colleague of mine, who is a great guy has this habit of tasting fries of my plate with messy hands. He doesn't realize it but it grosses me out. He considers me a good friend and I like him a lot too but I like to eat my fries in peace!
Me: Ha ha! Well can't you tell him subtly?
G: How can one do that! 'hey my fries don't like to be touched by you!'... Do you have any other advice?
Me: Hmm telling him this directly would hurt him, since he is doing it to show that he considers you a friend. Also he is a work colleague. Generally I know you would prefer to be direct
G: Yes exactly, see these are the kind of social situations I am not comfortable with!
Me: *laughing for a good minute* Maybe leave for lunch early.
G: I can try that tomorrow.

Day 2

Me: So how did lunch go?
G: Well everything was according to plan, I even finished working early. As I was leaving, I peeped to see if anyone was around and when the coast was clear I went to have lunch. I sat down with my plate and I hear my colleague behind me saying that he din't know that I was having lunch early and that it is a good idea to do it since we can avoid crowd. So he sat down next to me with his plate and the rest you know, is history
Me: *laughing*
G: Ya so any other idea because he says we can go together early from now on.
Me: *remembering a 'Friends episode' (T.V series)*. Why not get an extra plate for the table, that way if they want they can share and yet not spoil your food
G: Genius! pure Genius! yes I will try that tomorrow.

Day 3

Me: Dare I ask?
G: AGRH! well I did like you said, got an extra plate for the table, they ate that and still had time to dive into mine. This situation of mine is getting out of hand. Infact I even tried sitting on the other end of the table, but I underestimated his long arms!!!!
Me: Couldn't you eat faster!
G: Seriously! that is your solution now!
Me:Well, I am running out of ideas!!
G: I have one, why don't you come over here and we can have lunch together. That way I can always escape during lunchtime
Me: You know I would love to do that but work is getting stricter and they have a time rule now. I have to devour my lunch in the limited time *eye rolling*
G: Well then I have no choice, I will have to make my peace with this or order similar to their meal! *sounding retired*

Our 'situation ' did improve eventually, I managed to meet him up for lunch at times, he would try and order more healthier (non appetizing) options and sometimes if he was in luck had lunch alone!

Thankfully for G he was later shifted to another block in his workplace so their food court was different, so the problem solved itself altogether.

It is difficult for us to lose these knots that we tie in our habits, it is amusing and also funny at times but we still are tied with those quirks and it is not easy to let go.

Fears

I am overwhelmed at the response I received in Facebook, this encourages me to write more, so a big shout to all you guys!

Today as well my conversation with G was minimal, since he was rushing to office and I had been busy making a south Indian delicacy Kuzhi Paniyaram. So I have to rely on our earlier conversation.

G has always been unabashed with his surrounding, he is least bit concerned with what people around him think unless they are from his 'inner circle'. This quality I greatly admire in him since I get a little effected with my surroundings. Most of the time it is a great thing but not when G is teaching you driving basics.

I have been driving car since 14 years and been told that I am a cautious and a safe driver contrary to what I believed in before. There is something that I haven't disclosed though, I am scared of driving on slopes for the fear of losing control of the vehicle and bumping into the car behind me. This wasn't a problem for me, I would carefully and cleverly route myself to avoid the slopes in my journey when I was in Delhi. Chennai was different, en route to work I needed to cross a hideously steep flyover and each time my heart rate would pump up. I needed to find an alternate route, yes that was my grand solution... Until..

Me: So do you know of any routes to avoid this flyover to my workplace?
G: Why? That is the shortest way, there is an alternate way but it will take you time to reach since you leave in peak hour. Is something wrong with the route?
Me: Hmm.. Its just that I am afraid of slopes, I fear bumping into the car behind me. And this flyover that I need to cross comes in between
G: What?! Why din't you tell me before?
Me: Well I feel it's very silly and you might laugh at it
G: Why would I do that! Any fear big or small is not laughable, it might be small for me but big for you. You need to learn to overcome it. I will teach you to drive in slopes
Me: uh..mm *mummers* its okay, I will manage
G: Of course not! Don't worry, we will do this together
Me: So you will drive me then *hoping*
G: Yes I can do that but isn't it better to be able to do that on your own! It is always good to be independent. I am always there if you need me, but you should be self dependent
Me: Okay*after my feeble protests*

All was well, we were busy with our daily schedule that week and I was still a chicken when it came to slopes, but then later that week we went to cinema and this particular cinema hall near our house has the steepest slope you will ever see while exiting it. Usually its G driving when we are together, since I hate to drive and he loves it. This fateful day however after our movie, I headed as usual towards the passenger seat

G: Wait, I want you to drive us back. This is a perfect time to teach you
Me: *makes a sorry face* We can do this later, I am tired. It was a long dull movie
G: No, we are doing this now. Please get on the driving seat
Me: Can I drive after we exit *sheepishly*
G: Come on, get on with it

So I sat in the drivers seat, knowing the mountain (pun intended) that I have to climb. We reached the bottom of the slope and I nervously looked into my rear view mirror for some clueless victim behind me, there were none thankfully.

G: I need you to focus now, you can do this in two methods. First you need to put the acceleration slowly and release the clutch. In between you will notice that if you balance both correctly the car will stay still. You will feel the acceleration pull you
Me: And the second method *hoping it is him driving instead*
G: You can alternatively pull the hand brake and release it while pushing the accelerator.
Me: That sounds better, lets try the second first
G: No that's the easier one. We will try the first
Me: See there is a car coming, what if I bump it
G: Don't worry you won't. I am here

So I tried the first method, the thing with G is that, he won't let you do anything hap hazard. It has to always be proper and done completely. My car was protesting midway, I swear it did this on purpose.

G: Try again, go reverse and climb up again. Remember what I said
Me: What! I am halfway up, I can't do this again. Please lets continue later. Look the security guy is also coming. He is been suspiciously staring at us!
G: You stop worrying about them, only listen to what I am saying. Go reverse and try again. Do this till you get it right
Me: You are driving me crazy! I don't want to do this. Look that car guy is giving us glares!
G: Calm down first. Why are you paranoid thinking what other people are going to say! They are not going to help you when you get stuck. You need to do this for yourself. Listen to me, please trust me. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do but this I know will help you.
Me: OH GOD! okay fine. I will go reverse

After what seemed like a million efforts, I got it right! yipee! It was a great feeling. G did not leave with that day alone. Even small speed beakers were not spared from my practice. We did this over and over till I was confident. He made sure that I could handle the smallest and the biggest slope in history before his class got over.

At the time, I was hesitating and embarrassed of the public practice but now I am glad, since I no longer avoid routes. I am sure within myself that I can manage on my own. That I feel is very important. We all have fears, some bigger than the others but we need to fight our demons and find the correct way out not the shortest way.

G has always encouraged me to face my demons, better still given me weapons to fight it. But I warn you he is not an easy teacher!

Floods Part 1

It was raining a little today, quite a drowsy day. Made me think of how UK is almost all around the year. Spoke with G in the morning, he was bit under the weather so our usual conversation was cut short.

I am going to share something from last year today. It was a horrible time in Chennai last December. We endured a massive flood in the city and were displaced from our home. One night we were comfortably sleeping in our home unaware that it was going to be our last night in that house. It all started 3rd December 2015

3rd December 2015

Morning was very dull, it had been raining since two days, G and me had to meet Dad who was in Chennai for a meeting for breakfast at ITC Grand Chola. We were running late in the morning. The plan was that G would have breakfast and go to his workplace and I would spend the day with Dad.

We had a good breakfast at the backdrop of rain pelting against the window of the hotel, I was a bit restless and asked G to check with his office if they are open in this crazy weather. After a lot of contemplation we decided that its better that he skipped work and stayed with me.

The rain just got worse during the day

G: Rain is getting worse by the minute, I think its better I call home and ask them to shift into a hotel. If the water gets logged like it was two weeks ago, it will be difficult to get out then
Me: Are you sure? Is it that serious? I think it will stop soon. Maybe we should wait a while
G: No use waiting, it will get worse by the looks of it and then it will be difficult to find a hotel. Let me call home and check.

This was a very wise call that we took that day, sure enough things got worse. It is good that family shifted to a hotel nearby just in time. The water had reached the doorstep and almost everyone around had abandoned their houses. We were still in the hotel, Dad was contemplating to cancel the meeting in the night which was an important one. He decided to attend it after all. Me and G thought we would leave in the evening to the hotel that our family had shifted to.

Waiting for our car at the gate:

Me: Maybe we should check if the traffic is fine on the road
G: We can ask the other car drivers who arrive at the hotel, if they observed heavy traffic on the route.

Drivers we met said that there is traffic but its a flowing traffic. The roads are fine. So we decided to embark on the journey

Me: lets put the DVD player in our car to good use, we can see a movie on the way. Its going to be a long Journey

The traffic was fine till we reached a blind turning and then the scene that unfolded in front of my eyes,I cannot shake it off even now. There was water everywhere, most of the shops on the left side was submersed till only their board glowed in the dark. Water was getting higher by the minute. I could feel the water coming inside my Volkswagon. There was chaos all around, cars were stopping midway.

Me: OMG! we need to turn back now! Its horrible here. Water is coming inside the car. Its almost upto my knees
G: We cant turn back now, we have to cross the flyover for turning.
Me: But...What if our car stops, What if the water fills the entire car and we cant get out!
G: You need to calm down, we are going to get through this. I won't let the car stop. Till the time we go slowly and I keep giving accelerator, it wont stop
Me: I am scared, really scared!

People all around were screaming, coming out of their cars. Trying to move in the water. They were all shoulder deep in water. Water had reached our gear box and G was now shifting the gear inside the water

Me: I don't even know how to swim, what if I drown!
G: Nothing will happen!
Me: How can you be so calm about this, can you see around you!!! There is so much water inside. We will get stuck
G: Move the windows down, if the electrical wiring gets stuck. There will be no air inside the car. Focus on something else. We cant change the situation that we are in, but we can work in improving it.
Me: I found a bottle, should I throw water out. That way atleast we can see the gear box
G: That's a good idea. Do that but don't strain yourself.

After emptying about 30 bottles, we were definitely better inside but all drenched. We managed to get to the flyover only to find that the route was closed. It was frustrating. It took us 5 hours to turn back 1 km to ITC again. Those 5 hours felt 5 years. I was glad I was with G his calmness and presence of mind put me at ease.

G: Now that we are out of the water, do you want to continue our movie?
Me: Are you serious!!!? Movie in the middle of this!
G: well there is nothing else we can do, the traffic wont budge. There is no use worrying if we cant do something about it. Watching movie seems quite logical, it will distract us, calm us and entertain us!
Me: *speechless*

To be continued... in Floods Part 2 post