Mine was an arranged marriage, in India we have two kinds of wedding. One an arranged and other 'love' marriage. The former is quite common and mostly preferred in majority of the households, here the parents chose a groom/bride for their child and arrange for them to meet each other and decide if they want to tie the knot.
I had been brought up in an open minded family, my father had never pressurized us into anything, be it career or marriage. It was always open for discussions and only when we were convinced, was the next step taken.
My G was introduced to me by my sister and her husband, her husband and G were first cousins.Coming back to this post, we had a long courtship period of around nine months and I got to know him through our frequent conversations. I believe that staying with a person and knowing them through conversations are two different things, sometimes you might consider someone your best friend but they not necessarily make best roommates.
There are little things that you learn when you are together, example I like to watch my TV shows along with junk food or that I bite my nails when I am nervous.These are things that you learn when you stay together, not through conversations. We went to Bali and Singapore for our honeymoon. Both places were wonderful, one rustic and adventurous and the other fast paced urban, great for shopping. We had certain interesting incidents throughout our trip which helped us know each other better.
Singapore 2011
We reached Singapore to this beautiful Hotel, in the heart of the city. It was a wonderful location and we instantly signed up for tourists tours for the next two days. The first one was a site seeing of Singapore and its major attractions, it was while returning back to the hotel I noticed a local eat street. Now I thought that the street is so close to our hotel, so we should try out the local cuisine. I am a big sucker for street food and that looked appetizing.
Me: I noticed a street food corner, I want to try that out for dinner. What do you think?
G *peeping out the window* : Where? I can't see anything. Did it pass-by? We can try whatever you want. But did you make note for any sign or billboard? How will we find our way?
Me: Yes I remember where I saw it,its not far from the hotel we are staying in
G: Okay, we can do that. You like local food then?
Me: Oh yes! *telling him about the various places I have traveled with friends and family and the cuisines I have tried*
Later that evening...
G: Let's leave for dinner to the eat street that you saw. You sure you know the way?
Me:*confidently* Yes of course!
G: Okay I will arrange a cab from the lobby and then we can leave
Me: No no, the real fun of seeing a place is walking it. It's not too far, we can make it by foot.
G: Really? Strange I missed to see that on the way
Me: Yes its pretty close. I am used to exploring places on foot *telling him other incidents of site seeing*
G: Alright then, I am game, let's go!
So we set out on foot. It was fine initially , we were talking and noticing amusing things on the way. Then I began to think that maybe the place wasn't so near as I estimated.
G: We haven't crossed it yet? I hope we din't miss seeing it while we were busy chit chatting
Me: hmm No we haven't. Should we ask someone, how far it is?
We began asking people around, only to find out that people looked clueless to our question. We did not know the street or the name of the place. Few of them pointed to vague things. Now after building it up so much in front of G, I was having self doubt
Me: *thinking* 'Where is this god forsaken place!' It has suddenly disappeared*
G: Did you say something?
Me: Umm No *Where my thoughts so loud?*
G: We have been walking for around 40 mins now, can you think of any landmarks near by?
Me: *definitely unsure now* There was this huge building next to it..... *vaguely*
G: uh.. *looks up and scans all the huge buildings around us* that's not too accurate.
Me: You know what! let's forget it! I am hungry, I am sorry for this wild goose chase. I am not sure where the freaking place is! Lets just eat and go back to the hotel *Frustrated*
Now this is when I first knew this of G, if you mention to him once that you want a certain thing be it food or product or a visit, if it is possible for him, he would go to any lengths to get it done. This is an absolutely delightful thing if you are serious about the things you want but can be frustrating if the thing you mentioned was something casual because you are in a mood to forget it and move on.
G: No don't say that! We will find out where it is, hang on. You said it was when we returned back so it should be on the opposite side and there were no turns when we were coming. I think we should be near it, Let's walk a little more. If we don't spot it then we can always..
Me: Eat somewhere else? go back and order room service *ending that sentence hopefully*
G: we can always take a cab and come back the same route we came in the morning. We will surely find it.
Me: No lets just go back please, I am tired now
G: You said you wanted to eat there, let me try at least of finding this place for you, please just bear a little.
Me: *dragging myself* Alright! Let's do this!
We did manage to find the street and all of our exploring, did not go in vain. We enjoyed the food and ate to our heart's content.
G: *mischievously* So do you want to walk back like a tourist and explore things on the way?
Me: *feeling my aching feet* No way!!! We get a cab or I stay here!
G has evolved and I can take a pat on my back for helping him to let go of things, not all things are worth hanging on too or fighting for. We need to let things be at times and move on.
Bali, Indonesia 2011
On the flight from Singapore to Bali...
Me: *holding out a tourist brochure I had picked up* Lets try this Shark tour. It's quite interesting, they put you in a cage and lower the cage into the water where the sharks are and you can feed the sharks!
G: That sounds very frighting, I am not sure if it will be very safe.
Me: No I think it will be fine, they won't have this if it wasn't safe, lets try it please.
G: Alright we can think about it.
We were staying in this spectacular resort that had its own beach, they had a lot of water sports. I had always wanted to try scuba diving or snorkeling. They had it in their beach and we signed up for it.
A person was assigned to take us to the middle of the sea and help us with scuba diving.
Me: Aren't they supposed to give you training or ask you questions if you know swimming etc? I mean we did tell them that I am not a swimmer.
G: Let's see what they do, maybe they have a system. I guess they have been doing this sort of thing a lot many times
The person who was taking us, was in his late 50's, a short, medium built man. I first thought that he would be only driving the motor boat which in itself was quite big. We were waiting for some other person to join us.
G: *shouting to this boat driver* Hey is someone else going to join us, or is it only you?
Man *cluelessly smiling and nodding*
Me: I am not sure he speaks or understands English.
We got into this motor boat, which was a large one. There was a window on the bottom of the boat, so you could see fishes swimming and see the water below. We were right, this old man was the only one assigned to us. He was silent most of the journey. I was having my doubts about going through with this scuba diving!
G: Should I ask him, if I could give this boat a whirl. I would like to try driving it!
Me: I don't think he is going to allow that. I mean isn't there some sort of a training you are supposed to take.
G: Seems alright, I saw him handling it. I do want to give it a shot.
Well G loves to drive any vehicle he can lay his hands on from bike to a bus! I of course at the time thought that there is no way that guy is going to allow G to have his boat. To my surprise he just gave the handle and the system to G and he was merrily standing in a corner enjoying the sea, while G was driving us. This went on for a while before I noticed that the guy was in no mood to drive again or bother how a strange tourist is handling his vehicle. I panicked and asked G to give the boat back to the guy, what if something went wrong!
We reach in the middle of the sea, when abruptly the driver stopped. Me and G looked down from the window and saw green waters with fish swimming around
Man:*waving his hands violently gesturing us to jump*
Me:*shocked* Does he want us to jump in the middle of the sea with no equipment or costume!!
G: looks like it, I cant see any equipment on board. I will try asking *gesturing about equipment and costumes*
Me: There is no way I am jumping in. This is suicidal! He won't even understand if we call for help! he is just going to grin and nod while we die!!!
G*laughing* Yes I think it's better we don't try.
That was a wise choice, we just asked him to take us around a bit more before returning safely to the shore.
G: What do you think about the shark tour now
Me: Well we would become the bait for sure! Let's just enjoy a quiet day by the sea!
There are many more stories that happened during our trip, this post isn't enough to retell all of them. All I can say is that we got to know each other better and constantly learn from the other. I think it is with all our friends and family, we enjoy their weirdness and somewhere down the line, we take their mannerisms and they imbibe ours!
I had been brought up in an open minded family, my father had never pressurized us into anything, be it career or marriage. It was always open for discussions and only when we were convinced, was the next step taken.
My G was introduced to me by my sister and her husband, her husband and G were first cousins.Coming back to this post, we had a long courtship period of around nine months and I got to know him through our frequent conversations. I believe that staying with a person and knowing them through conversations are two different things, sometimes you might consider someone your best friend but they not necessarily make best roommates.
There are little things that you learn when you are together, example I like to watch my TV shows along with junk food or that I bite my nails when I am nervous.These are things that you learn when you stay together, not through conversations. We went to Bali and Singapore for our honeymoon. Both places were wonderful, one rustic and adventurous and the other fast paced urban, great for shopping. We had certain interesting incidents throughout our trip which helped us know each other better.
Singapore 2011
We reached Singapore to this beautiful Hotel, in the heart of the city. It was a wonderful location and we instantly signed up for tourists tours for the next two days. The first one was a site seeing of Singapore and its major attractions, it was while returning back to the hotel I noticed a local eat street. Now I thought that the street is so close to our hotel, so we should try out the local cuisine. I am a big sucker for street food and that looked appetizing.
Me: I noticed a street food corner, I want to try that out for dinner. What do you think?
G *peeping out the window* : Where? I can't see anything. Did it pass-by? We can try whatever you want. But did you make note for any sign or billboard? How will we find our way?
Me: Yes I remember where I saw it,its not far from the hotel we are staying in
G: Okay, we can do that. You like local food then?
Me: Oh yes! *telling him about the various places I have traveled with friends and family and the cuisines I have tried*
Later that evening...
G: Let's leave for dinner to the eat street that you saw. You sure you know the way?
Me:*confidently* Yes of course!
G: Okay I will arrange a cab from the lobby and then we can leave
Me: No no, the real fun of seeing a place is walking it. It's not too far, we can make it by foot.
G: Really? Strange I missed to see that on the way
Me: Yes its pretty close. I am used to exploring places on foot *telling him other incidents of site seeing*
G: Alright then, I am game, let's go!
So we set out on foot. It was fine initially , we were talking and noticing amusing things on the way. Then I began to think that maybe the place wasn't so near as I estimated.
G: We haven't crossed it yet? I hope we din't miss seeing it while we were busy chit chatting
Me: hmm No we haven't. Should we ask someone, how far it is?
We began asking people around, only to find out that people looked clueless to our question. We did not know the street or the name of the place. Few of them pointed to vague things. Now after building it up so much in front of G, I was having self doubt
Me: *thinking* 'Where is this god forsaken place!' It has suddenly disappeared*
G: Did you say something?
Me: Umm No *Where my thoughts so loud?*
G: We have been walking for around 40 mins now, can you think of any landmarks near by?
Me: *definitely unsure now* There was this huge building next to it..... *vaguely*
G: uh.. *looks up and scans all the huge buildings around us* that's not too accurate.
Me: You know what! let's forget it! I am hungry, I am sorry for this wild goose chase. I am not sure where the freaking place is! Lets just eat and go back to the hotel *Frustrated*
Now this is when I first knew this of G, if you mention to him once that you want a certain thing be it food or product or a visit, if it is possible for him, he would go to any lengths to get it done. This is an absolutely delightful thing if you are serious about the things you want but can be frustrating if the thing you mentioned was something casual because you are in a mood to forget it and move on.
G: No don't say that! We will find out where it is, hang on. You said it was when we returned back so it should be on the opposite side and there were no turns when we were coming. I think we should be near it, Let's walk a little more. If we don't spot it then we can always..
Me: Eat somewhere else? go back and order room service *ending that sentence hopefully*
G: we can always take a cab and come back the same route we came in the morning. We will surely find it.
Me: No lets just go back please, I am tired now
G: You said you wanted to eat there, let me try at least of finding this place for you, please just bear a little.
Me: *dragging myself* Alright! Let's do this!
We did manage to find the street and all of our exploring, did not go in vain. We enjoyed the food and ate to our heart's content.
G: *mischievously* So do you want to walk back like a tourist and explore things on the way?
Me: *feeling my aching feet* No way!!! We get a cab or I stay here!
G has evolved and I can take a pat on my back for helping him to let go of things, not all things are worth hanging on too or fighting for. We need to let things be at times and move on.
Bali, Indonesia 2011
On the flight from Singapore to Bali...
Me: *holding out a tourist brochure I had picked up* Lets try this Shark tour. It's quite interesting, they put you in a cage and lower the cage into the water where the sharks are and you can feed the sharks!
G: That sounds very frighting, I am not sure if it will be very safe.
Me: No I think it will be fine, they won't have this if it wasn't safe, lets try it please.
G: Alright we can think about it.
We were staying in this spectacular resort that had its own beach, they had a lot of water sports. I had always wanted to try scuba diving or snorkeling. They had it in their beach and we signed up for it.
A person was assigned to take us to the middle of the sea and help us with scuba diving.
Me: Aren't they supposed to give you training or ask you questions if you know swimming etc? I mean we did tell them that I am not a swimmer.
G: Let's see what they do, maybe they have a system. I guess they have been doing this sort of thing a lot many times
The person who was taking us, was in his late 50's, a short, medium built man. I first thought that he would be only driving the motor boat which in itself was quite big. We were waiting for some other person to join us.
G: *shouting to this boat driver* Hey is someone else going to join us, or is it only you?
Man *cluelessly smiling and nodding*
Me: I am not sure he speaks or understands English.
We got into this motor boat, which was a large one. There was a window on the bottom of the boat, so you could see fishes swimming and see the water below. We were right, this old man was the only one assigned to us. He was silent most of the journey. I was having my doubts about going through with this scuba diving!
G: Should I ask him, if I could give this boat a whirl. I would like to try driving it!
Me: I don't think he is going to allow that. I mean isn't there some sort of a training you are supposed to take.
G: Seems alright, I saw him handling it. I do want to give it a shot.
Well G loves to drive any vehicle he can lay his hands on from bike to a bus! I of course at the time thought that there is no way that guy is going to allow G to have his boat. To my surprise he just gave the handle and the system to G and he was merrily standing in a corner enjoying the sea, while G was driving us. This went on for a while before I noticed that the guy was in no mood to drive again or bother how a strange tourist is handling his vehicle. I panicked and asked G to give the boat back to the guy, what if something went wrong!
We reach in the middle of the sea, when abruptly the driver stopped. Me and G looked down from the window and saw green waters with fish swimming around
Man:*waving his hands violently gesturing us to jump*
Me:*shocked* Does he want us to jump in the middle of the sea with no equipment or costume!!
G: looks like it, I cant see any equipment on board. I will try asking *gesturing about equipment and costumes*
Me: There is no way I am jumping in. This is suicidal! He won't even understand if we call for help! he is just going to grin and nod while we die!!!
G*laughing* Yes I think it's better we don't try.
That was a wise choice, we just asked him to take us around a bit more before returning safely to the shore.
G: What do you think about the shark tour now
Me: Well we would become the bait for sure! Let's just enjoy a quiet day by the sea!
There are many more stories that happened during our trip, this post isn't enough to retell all of them. All I can say is that we got to know each other better and constantly learn from the other. I think it is with all our friends and family, we enjoy their weirdness and somewhere down the line, we take their mannerisms and they imbibe ours!
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