This is a story of three brides and how they met their grooms. Based on true incidents.
Chandrashekarapuram Village, Kerala, 1977
My father had retired and shifted to his hometown in Chandrashekarapuram, this was a quaint village. The kind of scenic beauty that you usually saw in paintings. We had recently attended a wedding in our neighborhood and one of the ladies there had asked my mother if they were searching for a groom for me, she said it was for her brother who was an engineer and was working in Ranchi. She took my horoscope with her when she left.
One of her maternal uncle was staying in our nearby village, she along with the uncle visited my house after matching the horoscope at their end. Her father had passed away a few years back so her uncle and aunt had undertaken the responsibility of her brothers marriage proceeding. They enquired about us and the family which was the norm. Later they returned back and said they would write back if they were coming with the groom for "Ponnu Pakkal".
It was like any other day, father and I had gone to the temple, it was already past lunchtime and I was beginning to get hungry. When we reached the house I was surprised to see the number of people lined up inside. The groom had arrived with all his relatives, uncles, aunts and cousins. They had apparently sent a telegram informing us of their arrival but we never received it. There was only one telephone in our post office for the village to use. My father as usual was calm and did his ritualistic cleaning of hands and feet before entering the house.
All houses in our village is of similar structure more or less. Map is as follows:
I saw everyone, gave a pleasant smile and went to the kitchen to have my lunch first. I could not change from my brown saaree as I had to cross everyone to reach my set of cupboards. One of his talkative cousins was leading the conversation. The groom asked to speak to me alone, here I heard a slight murmuring in the crowd. This was a bold request as most of the time, there was no talking between the groom and bride before the wedding leave alone time. I glanced at my father, he was unperturbed by the request, he obliged to the shock stares of few.
In the Swing room, we were sitting together. He was wearing red checked shirt and brown pants. I did not glace sideways to meet his eyes, he told me that he was short tempered and if I had a problem with that, for that I answered no. He then said that he was sincere and expected me to be as well which was a surprising comment for me as I felt that everyone would naturally be so. He also stated that he likes to travel and studies a lot for which I said I was okay with.
Soon after that, he consulted with his family and agreed to the marriage and were ready to do the engagement right away since having it on a later date would entail another long journey for them. We all agreed and immediately set to prepare for the occasion. I was soon to be a bride.
Bangalore, 1982
All of it started with my cousin getting married. My father's sister i.e is my aunt stayed just down the road from my house. I was quite a frequent visitor there, I loved spending time with my Manni (Cousin's wife) she was a beautiful and very talented artist. Once while I was visiting, I saw that her parents had come from Delhi to spend time with her. I saw her father sitting on the sofa sipping coffee, I said my dutiful hellos and sped fast to the kitchen to meet Manni, she was busy preparing snacks for everyone. Over the days I became a regular and would often ask Manni's father questions about his studies and he would animatedly explain all about his research. Before they left my father met them and gave them my horoscope, said that if they had any boy suitable for me in mind to pass that information over.
I had been a big fan of Amitabh Bachchan since I could remember, me and my sister used to line up for his movies. I collected several postcards and posters and stuck it all over my room. We used to also get a small booklet containing music lyrics of the movie we were seeing. I enjoyed flipping through and humming the songs. One day Manni's father wrote back, he wanted to match my horoscope with his eldest son i.e Manni's younger brother. His mother was soon to visit on her way to Madras and she would meet me then. My father wrote back saying that he would be pleased if the horoscope matched and if need be, even we could travel to Delhi for the 'Ponnu Pakkal' (Bride seeing).
My parents had a love marriage which was very rare, they had met at a wedding and one thing led to another. Just seeing or talking with the groom was a big event. So many of my relatives had hardly met their halves until the wedding day. So the day soon arrived when Manni's mother visited us. I removed all my posters and postcards off the wall, I thought that it would not give a good impression that the girl adored a movie actor so much. We met during the day, she didn't stay long just exchanged pleasantries and left. Later a day was decided when I was to meet him.
On the day I wore a pale blue saaree, I saw myself a lot of times in the mirror. Manni and her brother were to arrive, my house was full of my maternal grandfather, mother, father, sister and brother. There was a sign of relief that only he and Manni were visiting us. My mother proceeded to make snacks and sweets for everyone which was the custom. When they finally arrived, I tried to catch a glimpse of him. He was sitting next to Manni, a collared shirt and pant. We hardly looked at each other. Everything happened fast, I heard my grandfather tell that the Mappalai looks very handsome. It was already time for him to leave for the airport. Soon an engagement date was fixed over the phone and the wedding was to happen. I was soon to be a bride.
New Delhi, 2011
I had completed my masters in UK and returned home, my father had been constantly pursuing a suitable match for me, but it so happened that none of the prospective grooms clicked with me. We had registered in Tamil Matrimony and the likes. My family had always been open in our upbringing, we had discussed if there was a possibility of love before marriage but that was not on the cards. My parents themselves met in Banglore for just a brief time before getting married. Then followed a tiresome process of selecting grooms and having conversations for over a year until I became quite sick of the process.
My elder sister had met her match through the same matrimony site and had found her perfect half, that's when my story started. My brother in law suggested his cousin brother who was also in search of a bride and since our family was comfortable with theirs already, my father suggested that I also give it a try. The boy seemed decent, a software professional, his parents were settled in Chennai but hailed from a village Chandrasherakapuram, Kerala.
Reluctantly I agreed, I had made up my mind to go back to UK and pursue my Ph.D and take a break from the matrimonial search for a while. Maybe just meet this one boy before I go back. So the day was fixed by my grandmother for the groom to come for meeting me.
I tried to choose a dress to wear for the day but did not find any suitable one, so I raided my sisters cupboard and picked up a green kurta. So the groom, his parents, and his younger brother came to our house. I was in a room inside. I heard that they had arrived and that his mother was feeling a bit under the weather. I saw her first in the adjacent room, she had eaten something in the flight which did not suit her. I enquired about her health and then proceeded down the corridor.
I saw him standing next to my brother in law. He was wearing a brown jacket with shirt and jeans. A simple man I thought. Next we were all gathered in the living room for general chit chat, here we hardly exchanged a few glances. Later it was decided that I was to go and have lunch with him outside, so we chose a restaurant near our house. I was prepared for an awkward conversation to follow but surprisingly it was very comfortable to speak with him
Over lunch, we discussed our perspectives and expectations. It was an honest conversation. We laughed, discussed and conversed. By the end of the lunch, I had made up my mind. He was the one. Our lunch, however, was pretty long one it lasted around four hours that later I found that everyone back at home was making suggestive jokes about our long disappearance.
They returned back that day to Chennai and the next day we called and confirmed my affirmation for the wedding and they replied with the same. I was soon to be a bride.
Even though these stories move through time, the emotions that one goes through remains the same. How we meet the one we marry is a story to cherish. I am sure it is special for everyone.
Chandrashekarapuram Village, Kerala, 1977
My father had retired and shifted to his hometown in Chandrashekarapuram, this was a quaint village. The kind of scenic beauty that you usually saw in paintings. We had recently attended a wedding in our neighborhood and one of the ladies there had asked my mother if they were searching for a groom for me, she said it was for her brother who was an engineer and was working in Ranchi. She took my horoscope with her when she left.
One of her maternal uncle was staying in our nearby village, she along with the uncle visited my house after matching the horoscope at their end. Her father had passed away a few years back so her uncle and aunt had undertaken the responsibility of her brothers marriage proceeding. They enquired about us and the family which was the norm. Later they returned back and said they would write back if they were coming with the groom for "Ponnu Pakkal".
It was like any other day, father and I had gone to the temple, it was already past lunchtime and I was beginning to get hungry. When we reached the house I was surprised to see the number of people lined up inside. The groom had arrived with all his relatives, uncles, aunts and cousins. They had apparently sent a telegram informing us of their arrival but we never received it. There was only one telephone in our post office for the village to use. My father as usual was calm and did his ritualistic cleaning of hands and feet before entering the house.
All houses in our village is of similar structure more or less. Map is as follows:
I saw everyone, gave a pleasant smile and went to the kitchen to have my lunch first. I could not change from my brown saaree as I had to cross everyone to reach my set of cupboards. One of his talkative cousins was leading the conversation. The groom asked to speak to me alone, here I heard a slight murmuring in the crowd. This was a bold request as most of the time, there was no talking between the groom and bride before the wedding leave alone time. I glanced at my father, he was unperturbed by the request, he obliged to the shock stares of few.
In the Swing room, we were sitting together. He was wearing red checked shirt and brown pants. I did not glace sideways to meet his eyes, he told me that he was short tempered and if I had a problem with that, for that I answered no. He then said that he was sincere and expected me to be as well which was a surprising comment for me as I felt that everyone would naturally be so. He also stated that he likes to travel and studies a lot for which I said I was okay with.
Soon after that, he consulted with his family and agreed to the marriage and were ready to do the engagement right away since having it on a later date would entail another long journey for them. We all agreed and immediately set to prepare for the occasion. I was soon to be a bride.
Bangalore, 1982
All of it started with my cousin getting married. My father's sister i.e is my aunt stayed just down the road from my house. I was quite a frequent visitor there, I loved spending time with my Manni (Cousin's wife) she was a beautiful and very talented artist. Once while I was visiting, I saw that her parents had come from Delhi to spend time with her. I saw her father sitting on the sofa sipping coffee, I said my dutiful hellos and sped fast to the kitchen to meet Manni, she was busy preparing snacks for everyone. Over the days I became a regular and would often ask Manni's father questions about his studies and he would animatedly explain all about his research. Before they left my father met them and gave them my horoscope, said that if they had any boy suitable for me in mind to pass that information over.
I had been a big fan of Amitabh Bachchan since I could remember, me and my sister used to line up for his movies. I collected several postcards and posters and stuck it all over my room. We used to also get a small booklet containing music lyrics of the movie we were seeing. I enjoyed flipping through and humming the songs. One day Manni's father wrote back, he wanted to match my horoscope with his eldest son i.e Manni's younger brother. His mother was soon to visit on her way to Madras and she would meet me then. My father wrote back saying that he would be pleased if the horoscope matched and if need be, even we could travel to Delhi for the 'Ponnu Pakkal' (Bride seeing).
My parents had a love marriage which was very rare, they had met at a wedding and one thing led to another. Just seeing or talking with the groom was a big event. So many of my relatives had hardly met their halves until the wedding day. So the day soon arrived when Manni's mother visited us. I removed all my posters and postcards off the wall, I thought that it would not give a good impression that the girl adored a movie actor so much. We met during the day, she didn't stay long just exchanged pleasantries and left. Later a day was decided when I was to meet him.
On the day I wore a pale blue saaree, I saw myself a lot of times in the mirror. Manni and her brother were to arrive, my house was full of my maternal grandfather, mother, father, sister and brother. There was a sign of relief that only he and Manni were visiting us. My mother proceeded to make snacks and sweets for everyone which was the custom. When they finally arrived, I tried to catch a glimpse of him. He was sitting next to Manni, a collared shirt and pant. We hardly looked at each other. Everything happened fast, I heard my grandfather tell that the Mappalai looks very handsome. It was already time for him to leave for the airport. Soon an engagement date was fixed over the phone and the wedding was to happen. I was soon to be a bride.
New Delhi, 2011
I had completed my masters in UK and returned home, my father had been constantly pursuing a suitable match for me, but it so happened that none of the prospective grooms clicked with me. We had registered in Tamil Matrimony and the likes. My family had always been open in our upbringing, we had discussed if there was a possibility of love before marriage but that was not on the cards. My parents themselves met in Banglore for just a brief time before getting married. Then followed a tiresome process of selecting grooms and having conversations for over a year until I became quite sick of the process.
My elder sister had met her match through the same matrimony site and had found her perfect half, that's when my story started. My brother in law suggested his cousin brother who was also in search of a bride and since our family was comfortable with theirs already, my father suggested that I also give it a try. The boy seemed decent, a software professional, his parents were settled in Chennai but hailed from a village Chandrasherakapuram, Kerala.
Reluctantly I agreed, I had made up my mind to go back to UK and pursue my Ph.D and take a break from the matrimonial search for a while. Maybe just meet this one boy before I go back. So the day was fixed by my grandmother for the groom to come for meeting me.
I tried to choose a dress to wear for the day but did not find any suitable one, so I raided my sisters cupboard and picked up a green kurta. So the groom, his parents, and his younger brother came to our house. I was in a room inside. I heard that they had arrived and that his mother was feeling a bit under the weather. I saw her first in the adjacent room, she had eaten something in the flight which did not suit her. I enquired about her health and then proceeded down the corridor.
I saw him standing next to my brother in law. He was wearing a brown jacket with shirt and jeans. A simple man I thought. Next we were all gathered in the living room for general chit chat, here we hardly exchanged a few glances. Later it was decided that I was to go and have lunch with him outside, so we chose a restaurant near our house. I was prepared for an awkward conversation to follow but surprisingly it was very comfortable to speak with him
Over lunch, we discussed our perspectives and expectations. It was an honest conversation. We laughed, discussed and conversed. By the end of the lunch, I had made up my mind. He was the one. Our lunch, however, was pretty long one it lasted around four hours that later I found that everyone back at home was making suggestive jokes about our long disappearance.
They returned back that day to Chennai and the next day we called and confirmed my affirmation for the wedding and they replied with the same. I was soon to be a bride.
Even though these stories move through time, the emotions that one goes through remains the same. How we meet the one we marry is a story to cherish. I am sure it is special for everyone.

Wow fantastic very well put you have got the emotions well wonderful keep writing waiting for your next blog
ReplyDelete